Fuck you, 2014. Rock on, 2015.

Late last night I sat down on my bed with a pen and paper, soft music playing in the background, and let my mind wander.
I reflected on the past year, much like I did in my previous blog post- identifying the problems I encountered, and highlighting the good parts. I then proceeded to write it all down. I wrote down the good parts, the bad parts, the parts I’d been repressing, the parts I’d been reliving. Once I was done, I also wrote down what I hoped for in 2015- what I wanted out of the year, out of myself, and what my wishes were for the coming months.
Once I was done writing this letter to myself, I closed the book. I plan on ripping those pages out without looking at them again, sealing them in an envelope and putting it away, not to be looked at again until January 2016, at which point I will repeat this process, but instead looking back on 2015.

I got this idea from my boyfriend’s mother, who writes this letter to herself every year, evaluating her year and planning for the next.
I found it very therapeutic to do this- to write down, by hand, thoughts that I know I won’t read again for a year. It will be interesting to read this letter in a year and see how my hopes panned out- to reflect and see what changed, what didn’t, what I achieved and what I failed in.
This is a practice that I would like to turn into tradition. Something I now do every year in early January, when the Christmas decorations have been boxed away and the last of the chocolate has been consumed.

One thing I wrote a few times in this letter, which I don’t mind sharing here, as I think I’d rather be reminded of this more regularly than just once a year- is that my biggest hope for 2015 is to be happy. I’m guilty of being one of those people who can tend to rely on others for my own contentedness. I’d like to learn to be happy in myself, without the outside influence of others. I’d like to be able to love myself, to trust myself and to be at peace with who I am as a person.
In order to do that, one of the biggest challenges this year for me, will be to identify what makes me tick- to work out what I want out of life, and to start working towards becoming the person I want to be.
I don’t think life is about finding yourself, I think it’s more about creating yourself. And I think I need to start doing that.

So, 2014 is concluded with the sealing of an envelope, and 2015 is started on a blank page. Time to doodle.

Fuck you, 2014. Rock on, 2015.

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Well, it’s been a while…

5 months to be exact!

I’ve certainly been a little rubbish in the upkeep of this blog! I think it became one of those things where it had been so long since I wrote something, that I found it a little too easy to keep putting it off as it had already been so long anyway.

So, sorry about that, dear readers. I will certainly be making a much better effort to be updating this regularly- I miss blogging!

Well, since I last wrote a post, quite a lot has happened! In the time I’ve been gone, I’ve completed my degree, graduated and moved out of my student house and into Manchester. So, in my very weak defence, I have been busy!

I think this post is lacking in some colour, so let’s throw in some photos of the above events. Let’s start with mine and my boyfriend’s graduation!

Dom’s graduation!

My graduation with my nutcase of a sister and brother in law!

My graduation! (This isn’t my ‘final’ professional photo by the way- just one my boyfriend took as I was posing!

So, that was a pretty big thing! A few other big things happened in the time that I’ve not blogged for (turning 22, meeting one of my best friends for the first time in seven years!) but I think I will leave some of that for the next post! (Let’s not dry up all my subjects too quickly!)

Oh, and for anyone who may be wondering, I graduated with a very high 2:1 (as in, a few points from a 1st) in Photography and Creative Writing. 🙂

Well, that’s it for now! Just a quick little update! It’s good to be back!

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My Life in Letters: W.

Writing.

It’s the other half of my degree, it’s the thing that kick-started any creativity I’ve ever possessed.

I first starting writing when I was 9 years old. One Saturday morning I was bored while my mum had a lie in. Back then, the internet wasn’t really something a nine year old was interested it, so the computer for me consisted of Paint. And that’s about it.
However, on this particular morning the Word Processor attracted my attention for some reason. 
So I decided there and then that I would write a story. Being a huge Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan even at that age, my first paragraph was essentially regurgitated Whedon script, and as a nine year old thinking it was totally cool and not knowing the word ‘plaigarism’ then. 😉
So, what started as a bored nine year old wanting to pass a few hours, turned into my first novel. Which then spawned a sequel and eventually transformed into a trilogy, which I completed when I was 13. 
These early novels were terribly written, but the plot showed potential. I am currently trying to dig through it to find some gems for the basis of an adult rewrite.

From the second I started writing that first book, I decided (and told anyone who’d listen) that I wanted to be an author when I grew up. 
I continued writing through my teen years, starting a handful of projects that I never saw through to completion, but at least continuing to stretch my writing brain.
When I found the course at Bolton University, I decided it was ideal for me. At that point writing had taken a back seat to photography in terms of a career path, but was still a passion of mine and one I wanted to pursue. The course offered me the chance to study both photography and writing together, which was perfect for me.

Since coming to university I’ve steered more into poetry, as the fiction tutor wasn’t inspiring me to try my best, while my poetry tutor was. Strangely, before coming here I hated poetry. I hated how it was taught, I didn’t like the typical overly dramatised representations of it I’d been exposed to and the archaic language I’d experienced with poets such as Shakespeare- which let’s face it, is all you’re ever really taught in high school. 
Since learning it in university however I’ve fallen in love with it. I’ve built myself a good body of work, and I may even pursue getting it published.

In the meantime my fiction has been put on a back burner, but it’s all still there, and I have several ideas to work on in the future. 

Although my career path has changed course a little, I still want to pursue writing, and I still want to eventually get those books published that I so long ago sat down and started writing, thinking to myself “wow this is awesome, I can do anything I want here!”

Eventually, I want to make that girl’s hopeful dream of “when I grow up I want to be an author” a reality. Until then, poetry me up baby. 🙂

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Motivation.

Normally by this point in the year I’m still completely immersed in projects, New Year’s Resolutions and completely overcome with drive and motivation.

This year, for some reason this just isn’t the case. 

I’ve been really struggling to find any motivation to get done the things I know I must. This is my final ever semester at University before I graduate, and the work load is disappointingly light in comparison to last semester.
At the end of last year I put on my first exhibition of my work for that semester- that was a huge module. It consumed my every waking moment. In comparison, the work load for my final term is just not enough to keep me motivated.

I’m someone who loves to be busy, to be out and about all of the time. And yet, within the last few weeks mostly I’ve been watching TV, putting off tasks that would take minimal time and effort and playing video games in my pyjamas. 
I’m sure that the reason for this lack of motivation is down to the workload- for some reason the lack of has induced a sense of non-urgency in me. Last semester I hardly had a free moment to myself. This time around I’m procrastinating the days away without so much as looking at my assignments.
I’m up to date (for the most part) on my workload- it’s not building up or anything. But maybe that’s the problem- I’m doing nothing with my time and yet I’m on top of my work. That to me seems a little wrong and weird. The fact that these are the modules that will determine my graduating grade seems just off to me. 

The good thing about having free time though, is that I’ve starting shooting for myself again. I did my first self portrait in months yesterday and uploaded it, which was good! ( http://www.flickr.com/photos/bryonyharwood/12617987223/ ) 

This is my super excited to be shooting again face from yesterday. 🙂

I think the fact that I am graduating soon is becoming a little difficult to swallow. For the last three years of my life I’ve had my own home, my own time, my own money and my own work to do.

After graduation we will be having to move back in with parents before we can afford our own place. That is something that deeply depresses me. As much as I enjoy the company of those I will be living with, I’m used to my own space and my own way of handling a household now. I don’t want to be in someone else’s home. I want to be in my own.

That is a motivation thought in a way- I want to get a job ASAP and save up enough to move out. But until then, I have to do assignments that feel well below my intellectual level and continue to have not enough of it to keep my time occupied.

Has anyone else gone through something like this? Total lack of inspiration and motivation? Any tips on how to overcome it? 
Anyone who also has been to university- did this happen to you when you were on the brink of finishing? Or was your motivation stronger than ever? Let me know, I’d like to hear from you.

New glasses, though. 🙂

 

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Review: Lush’s Solid Perfumes.

I’ve never really paid much attention to Lush’s perfume/make up range. And now that I have? I’m kicking myself for not trying them sooner.

After sampling many of the solid perfumes (meaning, until I ran out of arm space) I accidentally stumbled across one of the loveliest scents I’ve ever experienced- ‘Lust’ and ‘Vanillary’.

Separately, neither really sold me. Mixed together? Heaven.
This was a complete fluke- I was trying the two scents, and happened to put them on next to one another. After a few hours of being on my skin they had matured to form this really beautiful scent; floral and sweet and so potent that when I woke up the next morning I could still detect it on my skin! (That was the moment I decided I’d be going back and purchasing both of them.)

 ‘Vanillary’ doesn’t really do it for my on it’s own. It’s a little too plain. I mean, it smells nice- vanilla, as the name suggests, but it’s just not quite powerful enough for my liking.
However, mixed with the jasmine scent-orgasm that is ‘Lust’, it turns into some sort of wonder-potion.

I do really like ‘Lust’ on it’s own- I’m a massive fan of jasmine scents, but something about that touch of vanilla just makes it pop and brings it to a whole other level.
The only downside to Lust is that it does leave colour payoff on your skin when you apply it- something that doesn’t really happen with Vanillary (except a few specs of vanilla pod).
This isn’t a massive issue for the wrists, as you can just rub them together to let the oils sink in- but it does pose a little bit of a pain when you’re applying it to your neck- there’s just no easy way to avoid having a slightly pink neck after use, without excessive rubbing in, leaving your hands heavily scented too, which for me at least isn’t really a desirable outcome.

However, I must say, that and that alone is the only downside to these solid perfumes. As they’re from Lush we all know they’re animal cruelty free, they’re free of any nasty chemicals and are all organic. They’re also really affordable- the solid perfumes start at about £5 each, which for Lush is really cheap, and for a perfume? Incredible.
They’re small which is excellent for travelling or for throwing in your handbag before going out- and thanks to the lack-of-glass packaging I don’t panic that they’re gonna smash all over everything if I take them out with me.

Plus I’ve had mine for over a month, have been using them everyday (sometimes several times a day) and I’ve barely made a dent in them. Yay!

 Overall, Lush’s solid perfumes have thoroughly impressed me, and I’m excited to try other scents. And maybe even some of their other products I have before overlooked in favour of colourful bath bombs….

*Note: All photographs are my own. Please do not repost or copy without my permission.*

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2013: A Recap.

This is the last photo I published to my blog in 2012.
A lot has happened in the months since then, and many moments were captured.

So… here’s my recap of 2013 in pictures…

January

I took my first 50 Week Photo, named “Steaming Mug Of Ice”.

Grant came to visit and we frolicked in the snow…

And I used a 5×4 camera for the first time.

*

February

We celebrated our 1 year anniversary…

And Dom got me some lovely presents…

… and the sun shone for the first time in months.

*

March

We played chess…

Pulled stupid faces…

And spent time with my little girl.

*

April

Grant and I went to see and met Derren Brown.

And sipped free champagne for his 21st!

Oh… and I turned myself into a puppet.

*

May

I dyed my hair orange…

Sweep wore a coat…

We laughed… ❤

Spent time with friends…

And I watched a lot of Dexter… 🙂

*

June

I started rereading all of Harry Potter… (In the bath… ahem)

Summertime started peaking out of hibernation…

I went to Download Festival for the first time…

Finally saw Slipknot live…

Plus Rammstein! (Among others)

And turned myself into an Elf!

*

July

We went to Oxford for my 21st!

Celebrated with Misty…

Tried Jason’s amazing cocktails…

Drank yet more free champagne with these rascals!

Jason, Tav and Grant. 🙂

We saw Cirque Du Soleil: Alegria in London…

I made my first piece of pottery!

And we sunbathed the month away!

*

August

I dyed my hair back to its natural colour for the first time in 5 years!

Dom and I went on our first holiday, and my first one in 7 years!

We went to Venice!

And we had an amazing time!

*

September

We went to Yorkshire and spent time with my “little” brother…

Plus Vladimir the Impaler!

My sister came to stay…

My laptop died right before term restarted…

So I got my first Mac!

Some friends came to Manchester…

And my precious little baby girl sadly lost her fight with cancer…

*

October

I got my new winter coat.

Found the first conkers of the season…

Developed a little obsession with them…

Got dressed up for the Manchester Zombie Walk…

And made brookies!

*

November

I got a surprise present from Dom!

Shot my photographs for the exhibition…

Got the seal of approval for my images from my tutor…

Went to bonfire night at the Alma…

Visited Alton Towers with friends and saw the fireworks!

*

December

I got my business cards…

Spent most of my time getting the exhibition together…

Put up my first Christmas tree in my own home…

Watched Elf with my friends…

Opened my first exhibition of my work…

Went drinking after the exhibition with my fellow photographers…

We had our first Christmas spent together!

And I got Christmas bow ties for all the animals!

I finally got Starbucks to call me “Gandalf”…

And we saw in the New Year in Reading with my lovely sister and her boyfriend.

*

2013 was an absolute whirlwind. Some incredible memories created, new friends made, and sadly some goodbyes too.

I want to wish all my beautiful followers a Happy New Year, and I sincerely hope you all have a great 2014.

❤

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Christmas 2013!

Well, that’s Christmas day over for another year! Still got New Year’s Eve coming up, which I will be spending with my boyfriend at my sister’s new house. So we’ve still got some celebrations to be had!

This year I spent Christmas with my boyfriend for the first time- we’ve been together for almost two years now and have been living together for over a year, so it was awesome to spend Christmas day with him and his family. 

Exposure13 was a massive success- we had our opening night on the 12th December and we had such a good turn out, and many of the artists got a lot of attention and interest in their work- maybe even some print sales!

I’m relieved that the exhibition is now done, but there’s still a lot to get done before I graduate- only a few months left now. I will be working next year primarily on a magazine I am launching for the university, along with two dissertations. Next year will be a little crazy! I also need to start preparing for leaving uni- getting job applications out, CVs written and where I’m gonna live sorted. 

I will do a more comprehensive post before the New Year I think. I felt like I just needed to write a little something on here as I’ve been neglecting pretty much everything other than the exhibition for the last few months- which means my blog has gotten a little dusty, along with my Flickr page and my personal photography… which I need to sort out and pick back up as soon as I can. I want to finish my 52 week project but I feel it’s hardly worth it now that I’ve gone so long without posting… but hey I can just consider it a …. very long holiday? 😛

I hope you all had a lovely Christmas and have something awesome planned for the New Year!

xoxo

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Exhibition Update!

Well, today, after weeks of stress, screen punching and swearing, I’ve finally finished my final images and printed them ready for the exhibition! 
Tomorrow I will be framing them, and we are putting together the space ready to hang our work as a group tomorrow too.
It’s gonna be a busy week next week- every single day is accounted for in a 9-5 to get the space prepped and ready and full of our work ready to open to the public on the 9th.

Although I’ve so enjoyed the experience of putting together our own exhibition and the learning curves have been so beneficial, I am so looking forward to it all being completed so I can sleep for a week.

I will be writing a new Life in Letters hopefully over the weekend before next week kicks me full in the face. 

Watch out for that! But for now, it is over and out.

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Update- I’m organising an exhibition!

Well, well, well… long time no see, huh?

I’ve not posted a blog post in a LONG time… for various reasons that I shall get into in a moment. But this post here, marks my come-back to blogging and I will be posting regularly once more as of now. 

Now, as for the reasons behind my extended absence from WordPress… In early September my beloved cat Misty passed away. This was a really hard time for me and my family, and I felt as if I needed to write a blog post about it. I felt as if I had to write SOMETHING about her before I could continue with anything else, but I didn’t feel ready yet. Now, I feel as if I can address this and continue writing.
Some people may think it’s silly to be so devastated over the death of a pet, but to me she was a lot more than that- pets become a part of who you are, and you develop bonds with them you just don’t with anyone else. Misty was only 6 years old too- she wasn’t meant to die so young. She developed a form of blood cancer about a year ago and she had been battling it ever since. She had a nice last summer, but her condition deteriorated within a matter of days, and we ultimately had to decide to have her put to sleep. I stroked her and relaxed her and held her paw as she slowly passed. It was awful but we know we made the right choice for her.
I will miss her forever and life will definitely be a lot less bright without her.

 

Well, that was September. As for the time between then and now- I’m now in my final year of university. This semester my class and I are putting on an exhibition of our work on 12th December in Bolton, Manchester. Organising this and getting my work together has taken up a LOT of my time these last few months. Hence my delayed absence. 

HOWEVER, I am now back! I will be aiming to post weekly blogs again, probably updates on the exhibition between now and when we open mostly, but I’ll fit in some other stuff too. 🙂

To check out our exhibition website go to: www.exposure13.co.uk. 
You can also follow us on Twitter, Tumblr and Instagram and like us on Facebook. All of the information about the work and the dates we will be open will be announced on those sites. Go over and share the links and support our work! 😀

Until next time, kids!

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My Life in Letters: V.

I’ve decided to talk about my recent trip to Venice for this letter, because it was my first holiday with my boyfriend and also the first time in seven years that I’ve been abroad. 🙂

Our trip was only for 3 days and it was incredible. I completely fell in love with the city, the people, the architecture, the food, the language… everything!
It was really really hot- 37 degrees Celsius most days (which is really hot when you’ve been in England for 7 years :P)

We really want to go back sometime, as we felt like we couldn’t take in everything we wanted to in only 3 days. Such a beautiful experience though. 🙂
I loved it there, and I managed to take some really nice pictures. Here are a few of them for you to enjoy. 🙂

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