Normally by this point in the year I’m still completely immersed in projects, New Year’s Resolutions and completely overcome with drive and motivation.
This year, for some reason this just isn’t the case.
I’ve been really struggling to find any motivation to get done the things I know I must. This is my final ever semester at University before I graduate, and the work load is disappointingly light in comparison to last semester.
At the end of last year I put on my first exhibition of my work for that semester- that was a huge module. It consumed my every waking moment. In comparison, the work load for my final term is just not enough to keep me motivated.
I’m someone who loves to be busy, to be out and about all of the time. And yet, within the last few weeks mostly I’ve been watching TV, putting off tasks that would take minimal time and effort and playing video games in my pyjamas.
I’m sure that the reason for this lack of motivation is down to the workload- for some reason the lack of has induced a sense of non-urgency in me. Last semester I hardly had a free moment to myself. This time around I’m procrastinating the days away without so much as looking at my assignments.
I’m up to date (for the most part) on my workload- it’s not building up or anything. But maybe that’s the problem- I’m doing nothing with my time and yet I’m on top of my work. That to me seems a little wrong and weird. The fact that these are the modules that will determine my graduating grade seems just off to me.
The good thing about having free time though, is that I’ve starting shooting for myself again. I did my first self portrait in months yesterday and uploaded it, which was good! ( http://www.flickr.com/photos/bryonyharwood/12617987223/ )
This is my super excited to be shooting again face from yesterday. 🙂
I think the fact that I am graduating soon is becoming a little difficult to swallow. For the last three years of my life I’ve had my own home, my own time, my own money and my own work to do.
After graduation we will be having to move back in with parents before we can afford our own place. That is something that deeply depresses me. As much as I enjoy the company of those I will be living with, I’m used to my own space and my own way of handling a household now. I don’t want to be in someone else’s home. I want to be in my own.
That is a motivation thought in a way- I want to get a job ASAP and save up enough to move out. But until then, I have to do assignments that feel well below my intellectual level and continue to have not enough of it to keep my time occupied.
Has anyone else gone through something like this? Total lack of inspiration and motivation? Any tips on how to overcome it?
Anyone who also has been to university- did this happen to you when you were on the brink of finishing? Or was your motivation stronger than ever? Let me know, I’d like to hear from you.
New glasses, though. 🙂
Thoughts, musings, and ramblings... 