Fuck you, 2014. Rock on, 2015.

Late last night I sat down on my bed with a pen and paper, soft music playing in the background, and let my mind wander.
I reflected on the past year, much like I did in my previous blog post- identifying the problems I encountered, and highlighting the good parts. I then proceeded to write it all down. I wrote down the good parts, the bad parts, the parts I’d been repressing, the parts I’d been reliving. Once I was done, I also wrote down what I hoped for in 2015- what I wanted out of the year, out of myself, and what my wishes were for the coming months.
Once I was done writing this letter to myself, I closed the book. I plan on ripping those pages out without looking at them again, sealing them in an envelope and putting it away, not to be looked at again until January 2016, at which point I will repeat this process, but instead looking back on 2015.

I got this idea from my boyfriend’s mother, who writes this letter to herself every year, evaluating her year and planning for the next.
I found it very therapeutic to do this- to write down, by hand, thoughts that I know I won’t read again for a year. It will be interesting to read this letter in a year and see how my hopes panned out- to reflect and see what changed, what didn’t, what I achieved and what I failed in.
This is a practice that I would like to turn into tradition. Something I now do every year in early January, when the Christmas decorations have been boxed away and the last of the chocolate has been consumed.

One thing I wrote a few times in this letter, which I don’t mind sharing here, as I think I’d rather be reminded of this more regularly than just once a year- is that my biggest hope for 2015 is to be happy. I’m guilty of being one of those people who can tend to rely on others for my own contentedness. I’d like to learn to be happy in myself, without the outside influence of others. I’d like to be able to love myself, to trust myself and to be at peace with who I am as a person.
In order to do that, one of the biggest challenges this year for me, will be to identify what makes me tick- to work out what I want out of life, and to start working towards becoming the person I want to be.
I don’t think life is about finding yourself, I think it’s more about creating yourself. And I think I need to start doing that.

So, 2014 is concluded with the sealing of an envelope, and 2015 is started on a blank page. Time to doodle.

Fuck you, 2014. Rock on, 2015.

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My Life in Letters: C. & Spring has Sprung!

Well, this weekend was pretty awesome. Finally, there’s been amazing weather! Really sunny and warm, but with a cool breeze- bliss!
Steph, Dom and I spent the Friday exploring. We can see hills in the distance from our flat, and we were determined to walk to them. So we set off in the general direction of the hills, and after an hour or so of walking through the really, really rough areas of Bolton, we found a Manor House, and a forest with a river and little streams and walking path and all sorts! We were so excited to see something that wasn’t concrete that we spent all day there, walking a total of about 9 miles.

 

On Saturday we continued our adventures and went into Manchester, where we went to the Museum. We went to see the dinosaurs, but mainly found ourselves confronted by a load of stuffed birds and big cats. Which made us all sad. But it was a really good day nonetheless.

Anyway, onto the Letter of the day, and I’ll keep it brief as this is already pretty long.

The obvious one for ‘C’ to define something important in my life? Besides a wide range of people who I love with a name beginning with it: Charlie, Caz, Clara, Chris, Christopher, Craig… the word for me today is “Camera.”
It’s part of my Username, I know, but that’s not the reason. If you’ve read my previous entries you will know I am studying Photography at University. But that’s not the only reason why I chose Camera for my word to define myself. I first developed an interest in Photographs and consequently Cameras when I was about 11. We moved to Yorkshire, Hebden Bridge, and when I first walked to the top of the valley with my sister and my dog, I was filled with an overwhelming desire to have a camera with me to take a photo of the view. I went into town and bought a load of disposable cameras with my saved up money from my cleaning job, and went back up to take photos of the town from above. Technically speaking, that means my first camera was a disposable one. After that, my father noticed my interest, and as we’d never bonded, and he did photography himself at University, he bought me my first real camera- a Nikon SLR film camera. I still use it to this day, 9 years on. It also came with my favourite of my lenses.

So, that’s what the word “Camera” means to me. (:

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