Warning: I get soppy. It’s not what I’m normally inclined to do. But sometimes, it’s just needed. (:
I’ve been reflecting lately, on my past relationships compared to my current one. And it’s made me feel exceptionally lucky to have Dom.
Before, in every relationship I’ve been in, without exception, I’ve had trust issues, derived from my childhood, and my issue with getting attached to people- I tend to keep people at arm’s length. My experiences told me that if I let someone get too close, then I would be let down. So I didn’t let anyone get close enough to. The ones I did, it ended badly.
However, then I fell in love with my best friend. It wasn’t planned, I didn’t necessarily want it to happen, or ever thought it would. I didn’t realise I was feeling so strongly for him until we revealed our feelings for one another- and it suddenly hit me. It scared the shit out of me. I wanted to run. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, and I didn’t want to lose him, and I didn’t want to get hurt again.
When I decided to go ahead with the relationship, I was taking a huge leap of faith, and a massive risk. But I am so glad I did it. We’ve been together now for almost three months, and it’s the happiest I’ve ever been. It just keeps getting better and better, and we have such a natural, easy relationship. We just click. We work. We understand each other perfectly, so we don’t ever feel the need to question anything about our relationship. It’s amazing.
The other night, he said something to me that I think will stay with me forever. I was recalling the way I used to feel when I was with my ex, who treated me appallingly, and completely used me. I said I was really glad I was out of that relationship, and that I was now with someone who was amazing. He said “I would lay down my life for you.”
That really, really touched me. And I can honestly say, I would for him.
Loving someone, is giving them the power to destroy you… but trusting them not to.
I think I’ve placed my trust in the right person for once.
Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
❤
Thoughts, musings, and ramblings... 