Blogging in 2014

Well, another year is almost over. And as everyone in the history of ever has pointed out at the end of every year, this one went rather fast. The year certainly did seem to fly by, with the months quickly bleeding into each other and the hours becoming seconds.

But this year has been a big one for me, both emotionally and physically draining, with some of my biggest challenges and achievements yet. This year I completed two dissertations, and therefore my degree, and I graduated from education, and left to my own devices with what is essentially a glorified and very expensive piece of paper. (Pretty scary stuff, I gotta say).
I also moved from my student home into the city of Manchester, and became a business owner. Again, pretty scary stuff.
Although this year has contained some great highlights, it’s had a lot of darkness. And I think that has reflected in my neglecting of this blog.

I looked through my posts from this year and noticed I only wrote 7 blog posts since the beginning of the year (excluding this one), while in 2013 I wrote 17. That, I think, shows the difference between the two years for me. This year has been a real struggle, despite the highlights. It’s been emotional and yet also emotionless, with the year passing in such a blur that now it almost feels as if it never happened.

What I’m hoping for, is that next year will be better. That my mental health will improve, and by extension my physical and emotional health. I want to achieve more and aim higher, and most of all I want to be happier.
2014, for all its triumphs, also had crippling lows; days where I struggled to even find the strength to get out of bed, and sometimes I couldn’t even find that. Overall, I don’t see 2014 as a good year, though I was lucky enough to have met some amazing people, who are now friends for life and made some wonderful memories with them.

2015 is a new start. I’m looking forward to what’s next. And to getting back to posting blog posts more regularly, as well as uploading my photographs more regularly to my Flickr, rather than letting them build up in queues waiting to be published.
Next year should kick-start a new chapter of my life, and I’m hoping for a positive one.

I hope everyone out there had a very Merry Christmas and will have a very Happy New Year, and to those of you who didn’t, or for those who find the festive season difficult, then I hope you stay strong and that you can find some happiness and peace during the coming days and weeks.
Hold in there, you’re not alone, and it will get better. I promise. ❤

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Robin Williams.

“You’re only given a little spark of madness, you mustn’t lost it.”

The news of Robin Williams’ death has hit me harder than any other celebrity death ever, I think. I’ve never been so devastated to hear about the death of someone I never met. It’s like the entire world has collectively lost their favourite uncle. 

To hear that he had been struggling with severe depression and the cause of death is a possible suicide is heartbreaking. To know that someone so beloved struggled so much, and so quietly is especially harrowing, to me.
In the words of YouTuber Jack Howard: “The name is immortal, the man was not.”

Hearing this news has hit home quite hard for me. I’ve been struggling with depression myself over the course of this last year and the end of 2013. This week (and oddly, yesterday in particular) have been especially low days. And though I’m not suicidal (far from it) I have been in the past. Knowing that someone else, ANYONE else is going through such horrific feelings is very distressing to me, as I’m sure it is to everyone reading this. 

I was thinking last night about all the other people who could have died last night, who would have been suffering with the same problems, dealing with the same conditions. That made me very sad, to think of all these people, suffering so quietly, and not being remembered. 

If anything comes from this, I hope that it is an increased awareness and understanding of mental illness. Because that’s what depression is; it is an illness. It is not something that can be switched off, or that the sufferer can ‘snap out of’. It is not attention seeking, it is not just having a sad moment. It is a dark, difficult and often dangerous state of mind that requires understanding and treatment, not stigma and prejudice. 

If anyone reading this is struggling, I truly hope that you feel better soon. Here are a few places you can go for help, if you or someone else you know needs it:

Samaritans Suicide Hotline (UK) : 08457 90 90 90
International Suicide Hotlines
Dealing With Depression

Robin, thank you for enriching so many peoples’ childhoods and for making so many people laugh, and thank you for teaching so many kids how to fly. Bangarang. 

“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.”

– Robin Williams, 1951 – 2014. 

 

 

 

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