Yesterday, after a day in Manchester doing some shopping with Dom, we stopped by Starbucks before going home with our haul.
We sat down with our drinks, discussing a friend of mine who called me asking my opinion on a decision he has made, to start up a ‘casual sex’ relationship with an ex of his. I warned him this wasn’t a good idea and that one of them would quickly start to feel something more again. I told him that if he didn’t want to restart a relationship with her, he should get out now before the feelings would be allowed to develop. He chose to ignore the advice I gave him, so Dom put a bet on with him that I would end up right, and that things would turn the way I predicted.
*EDIT* And, 4 hours after I originally posted this, I got a phone call from my friend. I was right. And Dom’s won £30 quid in the bet. I told him I was always right about this stuff.
We sat discussing this, while on the sofa next to our seats, was a man sitting on his own reading from his Kindle, and listening to his iPod. I pointed out to Dom that every time my friend made a decision like this, I always, without fail, predicted the correct outcome, and that I was positive this would be no different.
All of a sudden, the man who was sitting near us, who we assumed had been listening to his music, rather than to us, leant over and offered his own insight to the situation.
Surprised, we listened to what he had to say, and agreed with his opinion on the subject. Once he had finished talking, he went back to reading his book.
Bemused, we continued our discussion, moving on to my friend’s previous relationships, and how I had correctly predicted how each of them would turn out. I also noted that most of his girlfriends had always been jealous of my friendship with their boyfriend. I don’t know if this makes me a weird ‘girl’, but I honestly for the life of me, cannot understand other female’s logic when it comes to matters like this. I am not the jealous type, and any boyfriend I have been with, have always had female friends who I have never had any kind of worry about, or any kind of jealously; I am only jealous when I know for a fact that there is something to be worried about- e.g. they actually try it on with my boyfriend. Until I am given a reason to be jealous, I refuse to be that girl. Other females tend to be different from me in this way; they seem to see ANY other female in their partner’s life as a threat, unless they are family. This isn’t something I’m saying applies to ALL females, don’t get me wrong, but certainly in the cases of each of my friend’s exes and other females I have observed, this seems to be the case.
As I was relaying this to Dom, our friendly stranger leant over once more to offer his insight.
He started talking about how we, as humans, have evolved to think this way- we feel jealously because, in our evolutionary history, we want to protect our ‘mates’ as they are what will produce us offspring. Though we have evolved out of that primitive way of looking at things, our instincts still tell us to feel jealous of anyone we could view as a threat to the survival of our relationships, and therefore our chance for offspring.
This is all stuff I knew already, but I was fascinated by this man who so quietly sat in Starbucks, and so easily engaged two people he had never met before in conversation. I’m quite a shy person when I first meet someone, and I’m not at all the sort to talk to or start a conversation with strangers. This guy was ballsy and interesting and intelligent. He didn’t attempt to hide the fact that he was listening to our discussion, and was even confident enough to offer his own opinion to what we were talking about.
When he left, he put on his coat and a hat. He walked past us and tipped his hat to us, and went on his way. He left behind on the table, a yellow cardboard origami unicorn of his own creation.
I picked up the unicorn and took it home with me, to remind me that out there in the world, there still are people who are friendly, and wise. And sometimes, they’re just the guy sitting next to you, alone in Starbucks.
Thoughts, musings, and ramblings... 